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There is 1 central idea, one important concept that is very important to understand.

Get this right and you will be rewarded with profitable, enjoyable and long term relationships in which price is not the only factor. If you don't have this right, you will struggle with sub optimal business relationships and you will likely end up bartering about price in almost all of your negotiations.

The one thing that matters most is understanding the interests of your counterpart in your negotiations; this is an important element taught in negotiation training.

Most of us have a good awareness of our own objectives, needs and desires. When we negotiate with others, we typically begin with trying to persuade them of our opinion. We think to ourselves that because it makes sense to us, surely it must make sense to anyone that is reasonable. The problem with this approach is that it completely ignores the objectives, needs and desires of the other side.

What will it achieve trying to persuade someone to do anything that they don't believe would be in line with their objectives, beliefs and desires?

You will never persuade someone to agree with you by disagreeing with them, quite the reverse will happen. Because you tell someone that they are incorrect and you are the one that is correct, you will force them to defend their position rather than listen to yours. Nobody likes to be told that they are wrong and if you express to them that they are wrong it will become very important for them to defend their position because their personal integrity is on the line.

Not often will you achieve agreement with someone after you have told them that they are wrong, you have also managed to paint yourself into a corner. If it was key for you to reach agreement and you loose the argument, then you will have to sacrifice your own integrity by departing from your 'correct' stance to adopt the argument of your counterpart.

If you want to reach agreement the easy way rather than have your negotiations spiral into a positional argument, here's what I suggest that you should do:

Start by making some enquiries, the best of which you can ask will be questions designed to expose the interests behind the positions that the other side have assumed in the negotiation. Open questions are the best kind of questions to expose the interest or motivators that reinforce your counterpart's positions.

A good question to can use and at the same time endorsing your negotiation skills: Why are you negotiating with me / my organisation?

This is quite possibly the best question to ask at the start of a negotiation. Follow this question by asking your counterpart to expand on and to rank the reasons offered in response to your questions. Then you will have a prioritised list of their key interests.

Sample Interests:
- Individual: Security, Recognition and Control
- Organisation: Profit, Risk Avoidance and Strategic Fit (Some important elements you would have learned in purchasing training)

Once you have an understanding of your counterparts' key interests it is a good idea to reveal your own interests. Once all the parties to the negotiation have disclosed their interests it will be much easier to recognise the areas of common ground and then it is useful to present your argument in the context of how it would meet their interests. This way, you will not have to convince your counterpart that your argument is correct; you will only have to demonstrate that your suggested course of action would satisfy their interests.

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